Dispatch 01 from my Father-Daughter Road Trip
There have been ups and downs (literally and figuratively)
I’m writing this from a cafe in Edmonton. We arrived here afternoon after a week on the road, and we’ve got ourselves a little basement apartment for a few days. My dad is being interviewed on a radio show and will be play a little open mic night while we’re here. And I’m excited to do some laundry and give the van a little reset. Tony (my dad) went to U of A, and so there’s plenty of memory lanes to wander down and places to revisit and see what’s changed since the late 70s when he and my mom lived here. Plus, Renny is enjoying not driving for a couple of days, and I’m excited for a bit of solo time and maybe even a yoga class. But let me recap where we’ve been and how it’s been going…
We started in Nanaimo on a hot, windy day1. Made our way to the Sunshine Coast to spend two nights camping and swimming in the ocean at what is easily my favourite campground. The most magical swimming spot (with resident whales who commute back and forth out front, potable water, pit toilets, garbage + recycling bins, and two public fresh water showers to rinse off down by the water. Truly what more could you ask for?
It was the start of the trip, and we tested out different sleeping arrangements – Tony takes the loft, Renny and I sleep downstairs or in a tent when the weather is good and there’s no grizzly concerns (!!). My dad tried his first Scooby Snack – mild effects, no strong reviews in either direction, a little disappointing for me but glad it wasn’t a bad time for him – and he experienced the magic of a nap in a hammock, while I soaked up as much sunshine and lizard time as I could manage. It was delightful. Grateful for the gorgeous weather and a relaxing start to the trip.
Things took a bit of a turn after that. We headed up the Sea-to-Sky (Tony’s never been!) to camp at a rec site along the duffy. As we’re leaving civilization, getting further out of service, the sun is setting, and the weather is turning – lightning, some rain, a hint of thunder. Ominous and also fitting for the energy that was brewing. We’d been getting used to sharing a small space and also getting into the rhythm of being on the road, and the added mental load for me was real. I’d taken on all of the planning and logistics while Tony kicked back and defered to me on everything. So the combo of being a full service tour guide while also adjusting to being in close quarters with my dad took its toll. Minutes after arriving at our camp spot for the night, I crumbled.
Like the storm that was brewing around us, I unravelled. Tears, sobs, I was inconsolable – all the hurt and anger that had been building up over the last four years2 unleashed.
It was hard, it was cathartic, and it was both overdue and bound to happen eventually. I so appreciate that we got to hash out all the ways we’ve been treating each other; it was needed. I won’t go into the nitty-gritty. But we both agreed we can be better – he will try to be more attentive and less helpless, and I will try to be more accepting and less of an asshole, to oversimplify things. So after a couple hours of laying everything out and saying all the things, we tucked into our beds and slept hard. A tonic of emotional exhaustion and the natural sound machine that comes from being parked beside a river with rain falling on the roof.
Onward and upward never felt more appropriate to say. The trip must go on. We covered some ground the next day, driving up through Lillooet and spending the night at a little lakeside rec site somewhere on the way to Jasper and then on to Banff. The weather was mediocre, but the rain mostly held off. Having never been to Jasper, it was amazing to visit, but it also felt a little bittersweet to witness the devastation from the wildfire last year. Driving down the Icefields Parkway was stunning; the moody weather persisted with intermittent rain and cloud cover, which both added to the beauty – wisps of low clouds and mist, spotlights of sunshine breaking through – and also totally socked us in and blocked the views with zero visibility. Arriving in Banff to stay with friends of my dad, we got to have showers, sleep in real beds, and spend some time not playing Tetris in the van.
Which brings us to today – our break from vanlife and a little dose of civilization (if you know me, you know I love me a little city time). It feels like we are getting more and more settled into our groove. Tony has learned how to use the Aeropress all by himself (!) and I’m learning how to be more patient.
Next up, we’re heading to the badlands en route to our furthest destination, which will be Grasslands National Park, or at least that’s the plan so far. I’m excited to check out more of the prairies (it’s my first time!), and my dad is excited to see some bison. After the big push across to the Rockies and now the prairies, we’re seeing the value of spending more than one night in places. A few single nights here or there are fine, but when we spend too many consecutive one-off nights, it ends up feeling like a never-ending shuffle, so it will be nice to try and space those out a bit for the remainder of the trip.
On that note, I need to do some research and book our campsites. Wish us luck :)
Not great for the fires raging near home, but it sounds like it’s getting under control.
My mom was diagnosed with brain cancer and chose to end her life using MAiD in 2021.